The Medical Groans

Okay, so it’s that time of year again… time for the Christmas Bug Blog!

Last year I had a number of complaints from colleagues that most of the calls for advice over the festive period were about answers to the Xmas crossword and had nothing to do with patient care. So this year, since I’m the one oncall, I’m going to put up something easier.
​
In the tradition of bad jokes in Christmas crackers I have put together a list of the 12 best medical related Christmas jokes. The Editor says "best is a relative term… don’t expect these to be the best jokes you have ever heard!". So here we go… the 12 best medical jokes of Christmas…

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

What did Santa say to the smoker? 
Don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsilitis!

Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
Because he has private elf care!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas?
Excemas

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with

Why did Santa have to go to the hospital?
Because of his poor elf

What do you call a blind reindeer?
No eye deer

What do you call a blind reindeer with one leg?
Still no eye deer

Where do Elves get their medical check-ups? 
The national elf service.

What do you think? Do you know any similar jokes? Tell us them and let us all share in the groans that follow. 

The Bug Blog will return in the New Year but in the meantime enjoy the festive season and have a great New Year.

​Seasons Greetings
The Nuts & Bolts Team
(aka. David, Jenny and the cats)